These are rare forms of sexual perversion but ones which can and do often affect otherwise happily married, family men, so they are worth looking at here. Transvestites get sexual pleasure from wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. They usually look at themselves in a mirror and are excited by the signs of sexual arousal in themselves. Masturbation is usually the result. Sometimes a woman partner will be involved, some being willing to provide female attire and make-up. Either intercourse or masturbation may then be the outcome.
Some cross-dressers do not become sexually aroused but describe a sense of peace and contentment which comes over them. These are probably not true transvestites because there is no arousal. Both, however, no doubt reflect some disturbance in the early relationships with their mothers. Around four years of age many boys go through a stage of putting on their mother’s clothes, presumably because their softness symbolically represents the mother’s skin. However, there is evidence that more mothers of transvestites would have preferred a girl than other mothers and some even treat their little boys like girls for some years.
Where a transvestite responds to only one article of clothing, such as knickers, the distinction between him and the fetishist is difficult to make. More commonly, the transvestite will put on his wife’s, or his own, female attire when she is out. His general interest in other sexual activities, including intercourse, is usually low.
How common transvestism is in women is an open question and some experts believe it does not occur at all. This is improbable and some causes of orgasm problems in women may be due to its presence. Psychotherapy can be an effective treatment for tranvestism.
Most transvestites indulge their interest only occasionally, although some need to expand their activities so that they are dressed as the opposite sex most of the time. They do not usually want to change sex: as one said, ‘I’m just a cock in a frock’, but he nevertheless had a female name for himself in the role.
Where there is a desire to change sex (the individual believing he or she is a member of the opposite sex trapped in the wrong body), the condition is known as transsexualism. As well as wearing the clothes of the opposite sex, these people want to be rid of the body they have and replace it with one which resembles that of the opposite sex. As a result they seek hormone therapy and surgery. Women want testosterone so as to grow a beard, break their voice and, perhaps, enlarge the clitoris, and surgery to have their breasts and their uterus removed. Men want oestrogen to create breasts, reduce beard growth and make their contours more rounded and surgery to remove their genitals and construct a vagina. Most seem to be more sexually inhibited than sexually expressive and their preoccupation with their sex-change is obsessional. However, they can subsequently regret and resent the change. If frustrated in their quest, however, the transsexual can become depressed and suicidal. Although transsexuals may be homosexual, the problem is not basically one of which sex they are orientated towards sexually but rather one of gender-identity. They have identified their gender incorrectly. Mothers of male transsexuals (like those of transvestites) also more commonly wanted a girl than other mothers and it is said that they feminise the boy from childhood onwards. The father does not rescue the child and is usually distant. These mothers are often said to be unfeminine and disappointed tomboys themselves.
Transsexuals say they have always known that they were of the wrong sex and need to belong to and be accepted by everyone as a member of the opposite sex. At school such boys usually relate only to girls and girls become their reference or peer group. They put on female clothing and continue to do so in spite of any rebuke or punishment. They may even say they want babies. Successful attempts have been made to rescue boys from a future of transvestism or transsexualism by therapy administered before puberty. The justification is that gender-role disturbance (an incomplete or unsatisfactory acceptance of the masculine role in boys or the feminine role in girls) or cross-gender identification (the belief that one belongs to the opposite sex) leads to so much disorganisation and unhappiness that it should be prevented if at all possible. Girl transsexuals can be treated successfully even in adolescence. In their cases it is usually the mothers who have been neglectful and the fathers who have taken care of them and encouraged masculine tendencies. The fathers perhaps wanted boys, or wanted to exclude the mothers from their relationships with the girls.
Again, as with all these perversions and deviations, often the child’s rearing has so scarred his or her development that he or she is trapped into believing and feeling the way he or she does. For the families of the individual involved things can be very difficult and professional assistance is almost always needed. Self-help groups can be a great help.
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