If the pressures on the woman from the baby, from herself and from those around her are considered and if we bear in mind that her relationship with her baby is a straightforward
interpersonal one rather than an overwhelming instinctive form of mother-love, then baby battering becomes easily understandable. Increasing research is now suggesting that the way a baby behaves influences its mother’s reactions and not just the other way round. The way a baby responds to what its mother does greatly influences the way she in turn behaves. So, as in any interpersonal relationship, both parties influence the actions and reactions of the other. In contrast to the typical picture of an indifferent, neglectful mother, the battering mother is often one who does care. She desperately wants the baby to love her but it may seem to her not to do so. It cries inconveniently or incessantly after she has done her very best for it and this she may see as rejection and criticism. Babies are designed to cry instinctively to ensure their survival and though experienced mothers are very sensitive to these calls the inexperienced mother can have real problems recognising them or knowing what to do.
As far as prevention is concerned it is known that anything which fosters the inter-personal relationship is protective for the baby. Keeping the baby with its mother all the time right from the birth is important, as is encouraging her to experience maximum physical pleasure from it. Both of these things help the bonding process between them.
Because of our cultural attitudes battering parents are far more likely to be punished than helped – especially if they are men. Often the circumstantial odds are so stacked against them that at the particular moment when they resort to battering, they seem to have no other option. Parents Anonymous is a self-help organisation run by parents who have been in this position, for others who fear they might batter or who actually have battered their babies.
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