Many women feel a sense of loss and guilt when they experience a loss of libido and this can contribute toward depression at the time of the menopause. This is particularly so when they have had a good sexual relationship with their partners.
While sexual intercourse improves relationships it is not the only factor. Many couples in their later years find that mutual respect, and the shared experiences of surviving the various ups and downs of life produce bonds that perhaps substitute for the loss of sexual experience. This is obviously a personal state of affairs which every couple must work out for themselves. It is important that those women who do not feel the same sexual desires that they felt in their youth do not feel they have nothing left to offer their partners. There is pressure within the community to have women believe that unless they are having intercourse into their seventies they are just not ‘with it’.
With the alteration of women’s self-image, and the change of attitude of society about their place, following reproductive failure, they and their partners are altering their expectation of this time of their life. Early surveys in our clinic obtained false information in this area until it was realised that women were uneasy about discussing personal sexual problems unless directly asked.
Standard menopause assessment and indexes, derived twenty-five or more years ago and still used to score symptoms, did not include libido or comfort with intercourse. This has changed. In many cases today, these features are the presenting symptoms, or the main reasons why many women have attended our clinics.
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